Where’s my Almond Joy?

Share and share alike right? Until it’s your share.  Pooling things together in a household never works, it always ends up with someone resenting the other for taking their stuff.

Everyone pitches in, or so it seems.  If you have two working adults and a child, well hey… That kid is as the mercy of the adults in the household,right?   Kids don’t think about food the way adults do.  When they hunger, they eat.  When they thirst, they drink.  As far as I’m concerned, that’s how it should be.  People who resent their kids because they eat with an average appetite are asshats.  It’s the care-giver’s responsibility to ensure their kids are well fed.

I also don’t understand the people that over-burden their own children with worry and concern.  Let your kids be kids for crying out loud, they have their whole lives ahead of them to have all the responsibilities of an adult.  I’ve seen my fair share of adults that guilt their children into starving themselves, or lock them out of the cabinets and fridge out of fear of them eating them out of house and home. Get a grip people.  3 squares a day and snacks in between is the average eating habit of an active and healthy child.  As they grow into teens, they eat less and less, though their helpings at meals may be larger.

Unless of course it’s not your kid.  Then that kid owes you right?  You spend your money and what you buy goes into the household, never-mind that its your agreed upon share. Fuck that, you are entitled to have more than anyone else in the house because you did the shopping!  The food is for everyone to eat, unless you are the one that reached in your pocket and went to the store. Then, it becomes YOUR FOOD.  If one particular item goes faster than the others, well it’s all “Hey, who drank the last of the….!  That was mine!”

If that sounds familiar, I hate to break it to you…You’re living with an asshat.

And it’s because kids don’t think of food/drink in the same way as adults. When they bring something home and put it in the fridge, it belongs to THEM, whether they bought it with their own money (*cough your money*) or it was given to them makes no difference.  It is their property.  Don’t kids deserve the same courtesy as you asshats expect of them?   So if you go snatching your due, shouldn’t you extend the same courtesy of asking them, much like you demand of them when you have a favorite item in the fridge?

When adults start to treat their kids like Roommates, this is where things usually swing Left.  You would think a mature adult would understand the roles in the household, especially when they were already laid out pretty clear from the beginning.  You would think.  When the kids demonstrate more emotional and mental maturity than the grown-ups, what then?   Does this mean they should be treated like your buddy at the bar?

Get a hold of yourselves people. In fact, check  yourself or else get checked by a kid!

I went shopping last week.  I didn’t think for a second that the food would be separated into equal shares.  Food is Food.  You are hungry, you eat.  If you’re thirsty, you drink.  I bought myself an Almond Joy, and threw it in a basket by the fridge.  It stayed there for 2 days before it disappeared.  Where’s my Almond Joy? Someone ate it!  Was I bummed out?  Sure, someone beat me to it. I left it out and it was for anyone to snatch and enjoy.  Truth is, it was probably my kid.  I didn’t go through the house demanding to know who had eaten it. I just chuckled to myself and thought…“Damn it, I should have hidden that in my purse!”  and moved on.

I went to the change jars where I too had been throwing coin for months…Empty.  Not a single Quarter in there, and I was looking for change to wash my car.  Not only was my share gone, but all the shares were spent up without a single care or consideration.  Somebody was owed his due.  We reside in the Den of Inequity, always have and always will.  Someone is keeping a tally, and they expect that forward paid in Full, even if they working in a deficit and their logic is fucked.

You just deal with it.  You learn your lessons well, and hope to not repeat the offense in the future.  It’s all on you, always has been.  You can keep a mental note of all the little tid-bits you learn, but it doesn’t mean you act on it in the moment.  All in good time.  That’s the difference between the people that Act and the people that Re-Act.

I also throw change in a jar for my kid, he knows his own jar called the “Goodie Jar”.  He pulls from it for a pit-stop on his way to school, or a snack while he’s there.  Sometimes the jar runneth over, and sometimes it’s down to just pennies.  He learns to manage what he’s working with.

Some parents work the ‘Allowance’ angle with their kids.  They do chores they earn profit.  The rate is up to the parent, and with the idea that it teaches their kids responsibility and builds character.  I never have.  I have my own ways of teaching my son responsibility and building character.  He’s responsible and has strong qualities, but he will also build character traits for the rest of his life.  I’ve done well.

When my son expresses gratitude towards me, I always make it a point to remind him he should be proud of himself FIRST.  I guide him, but he’s not my little robot.  I don’t just issue commands that he follows.  He  makes conscious choices.  Sometimes he’ll make mistakes, but I allow him to make them.  He learns from them and makes decisions for himself.  He also learns what character traits he would like to hold, as well as those he admires in others.  He has also learned those he detests.

He keeps his room clean, does his own laundry and doesn’t leave messes around.  Is he perfect?  Nope, perfection is a nullified notion.  So, sure I get on him if he leaves crumbs behind after making a sandwich but I don’t need to be a Harpy to help him understand why its important that he maintain cleanliness and order.  I don’t need my kid to do my housework either.  I maintain the house just fine without paying for his child slave labor.  If I need help with something, he’s more than happy to assist.  In fact, he wishes I’d ask him more often.  I remind him that I want him to enjoy his childhood for the short time that he has it.  A year left, and he’ll be a bona fide Adult.

When he wants luxuries, his Father spoils him.  We’re divorced and so it’s his little way of making up for the time lost not seeing him as if he lived in the same household.  He gives him a little walking money, or buys him something he’s requested (within reason).  It’s not abusive, so I don’t fret about it.

People tend to raise their own kids how they were raised, but some deviate from that path when they know something just doesn’t make sense.  When there’s no logic or reason behind it accept to mimic your own parents, why would you do it?  Some people are just mimics.  Sad little creatures that they are.  Most things usually begin with “Well, my parents did such and such, so I do it too…because I turned out alright.”  You sure about that?  I don’t want my kid to just turn out ‘Alright’,  I want him to have his wits about him.  I want to set good and healthy examples for him and not just parrot off some nonsensical reasoning because it makes me feel like some self-righteous twat.

When my son came home to find that Someone had drank several of his Gatorades he said “Hmmm (2) left?  I had (8) but I only drank (2).”  To which I replied, “I dunno, I’ve only been drinking water.” and just left it open-ended.  He said “Ah well, I got it for free anyway, no big deal.”

Case Closed.

I don’t have to ask where my Almond Joy went to, I already know.

What I should have known was better to stick it in my purse!  There will always be more Almond Joy’s, you only get one shot at this child-rearing thing!


A word from Mama SIN…

Kids of this generation are no more or less rebellious than they had been in the past but they do have access to more information as Social Media allows them to perform personal research and gain perspective from others in their peer group.

A new generation of Satanists is on the rise, and it usually starts in childhood.   The youth will come into their own like the rest of us.  They are asking questions that seek answers.  Young people often feel oppressed by their parents when restrictions are placed upon them.  Some of those restrictions are for their own good, while others may be rooted in the psychological baggage of the parents that raise them.  I’ve written a fair bit in the past about the differences between being a parent and a baby-sitter.  Raising a child isn’t just making sure these children are out of harm’s way, it involves guidance with humility.  These kids are going to be adults before you know it and if YOU as the parent make critical mistakes WE the people have to suffer them.

Dysfunctional adults run amok in this country, and it’s often because of unresolved childhood traumas.  If I had a nickle for every time I spoke to an adult still lamenting over their upbringing I’d be sitting on a mountain of fool’s gold.  These folks are still trying to figure out a way to get over the harsh treatment they received as children, and much of it was complete subjugation and oppression.  Kids need guidance not some Sadistic beat down every time they explore and experiment with thought and action.

Like adults, the youth will have their own struggles and strife to endure, all the while being regarded as property.  As such objectified beings they often have only a minuscule measure of Liberty and Freedom.   And so, they jump into cyber-space head first looking for valuable information that can help them cope with the trials and tribulations of their daily lives.  They are looking for knowledge and tools that liberate them from their oppressors.

I often have children reach out to me for information on the occult, paganism, and Satanism and I treat these kids as if they were my own.  I am not going to teach them how to become an Occultist, Satanist or Pagan.  Instead, I’ll guide them to examine why they believe the Occult will liberate them, and with the notion that they should speak to their parents about the feelings they have.

When my son has friends over and they want to raid my library, I have a strict policy.  The answer is NO.  I am not seeking to oppress their thirst for knowledge, I am advising them that this type of knowledge requires introspect and self-governance.  Some of these kids are troubled and have problems at home.  It’s not my responsibility to raise other people’s children.   It’s my responsibility to not exacerbate matters by adding the confusion of Occultism into the mix of issues they are dealing with at home.

When young people reach out to me online, I just use common sense.  Adults often treat kids like a plague on Social Networking platforms because of the stigma of being viewed as a predator for speaking with children.  It’s a reality we all have to deal with.  Kids of high school age are often looking for mentors and spiritual guides.  If they are already studying the Occult and ask me questions for my perspective, I’ll provide it as a parent.

Some of these kids are so desperate to have a voice of their own, they will ask me to be a commentator on my radio show.  My answer?  Not without parental consent.  Obviously I’m not checking I.D. if I get a live caller, but this is rare.  Most of the time, these kids are hiding their interests from their parents because of parental concerns at home.   These concerns are rational and often reasonable.

The fact of the matter is the Occult can do a number on the psyche of an underdeveloped mind.  And if kids are seeking it out as a quick fix to the problems they have at home, then obviously the reasoning is off.  Some writers of public content don’t give a rat’s ass about these kids.  They are sharing these quick fixes for them to acquire and sometimes they are even tailor-made for them.  It’s all for $6.66 you can perform a magic spell to Kill your mother!  I know, it’s ridiculous but it can’t be helped in such a chaotic environment like the World Wide Web.

And oh what a wicked web it weaves!

When I write to offer my perspective, it’s just that: My perspective.  I’m not here to teach you how to become a Satanist, Occultist or pagan.  My perspective added to the pool is in the name of mediating understanding about diversity and individualism.  And believe me when I say, it’s a cesspool.

There are crazies everywhere and they too have their own perspectives.  Their words are just as symbolic as my words and can be the influencing agent of your mind, and the minds of your children.  As a parent myself I’ve always been responsible in monitoring my child’s activity online.  Have a look see, and try to find my beloved offspring.  I assure you, you won’t find him.  You can say what you want about me and my persona, what you cannot prove is that I’m a terrible parent.

Living your life on your own terms also requires a level of guidance for your children to understand who you are beyond your role as a parent.  Some people choose to place their lives in some protective bubble to be popped one day when their child comes to realize that they really had no idea who they are as an individual.  My child knows who and what I am.  It’s also my responsibility to learn about my child and his individualism.  I always keep the channels of communication open while allowing my son his own privacy.  I’ve guided him to be self-governing; I sometimes have to step in when he’s making poor choices to guide him to better choices.

My role as a parent is nearly over but I will always be his mother.    As his mother, I will always be available to him when he needs me but it is my hope that he won’t need me.   Some parents are so co-dependent on their children that they rely on them for their complete existence.  I’ve observed mothers that hinder their children’s progress and growth because they are lonely and need their children for company.  They don’t encourage them to become autonomous; instead they foster the notion that they are NOTHING without them.  I consider that child abuse.

Some parents are so controlling that they have to have their hand in every decision made, and what children will grow up to become.  They even try to live vicariously through them.  This is what I’m talking about when I write about living a full life.  Why fake it?  Why not get out there and do what you want to do, be what you want to be and live the way you want to live?  Otherwise you will have those feelings of resentment and often channel them through your own children.

If you missed your chance, I say: Tough Shit. Just because you missed opportunities or wasted your time, doesn’t mean you have the ‘right’ or ‘privilege’ to ride your children’s coattails like that boat you missed.  Get over it.  Get over yourself.  When your children have matured and are on their own, maybe then you can pick up where you left off.  Raising a child is a big responsibility.  It does require a level of personal sacrifice and managing your compulsions to be a Solipsistic Asshole.

For the youth I offer this:

You do have power.  You can attain liberty and have some semblance of control over your own lives IF you are up to the task of mediating understanding to your parents.  If your parents are dysfunctional and abusive, you do not have to endure this treatment.  There is always a way to liberate yourself from your oppressors.  It will take personal responsibility and being held accountable for your actions.

If your complaint is that your parent won’t just let you destroy yourself with drugs or reckless behavior, well then obviously it’s YOU being the solipsistic asshole.  Grow up.  Learn why these behaviors are concerning to your parent and what effects they can have on your life when you become an adult.  You won’t be a child forever.  Your young life is just a blip by comparison to your adult life.  What you do right now, may have effects on the way you mature.

If you have big dreams, where there is a will driving them, there is always a way to attain them.

And to the adults:

The 20 something’s call me Mama SIN.  I don’t feel old when they do that, it’s a sign that they look up to me as a mother figure… As a parent.  This does not offend me.  What offends me is shitty parents and broken people as a result of babysitting passed off as parenting.   While your kids are being told that they should learn and mature, you too have some growing up to do.

In conclusion, your personal reality can be warped by perspectives.  Learn to be more discriminating in those you will allow to influence your thoughts.  They can have positive and negative effects.  If you have personal wants and needs, then obviously you have to examine why you think you want or need them.  Introspect is also a perspective to have.  Examine yourself constantly and analyze where all these impulses are coming from.  When you say “I Want” in your own head, how can you know which aspect of yourself wants it if you don’t examine it?  How can you know if you are being influenced to want it and where are those influences coming from?  If you feel powerless then maybe you are being driven by the wrong influences.  If you feel sad or depressed and think your entire life sucks, then what are you really doing to actively improve your situation?

Ask the questions, and then seek the answers.  Personal progress doesn’t just happen.  It takes work and being responsible with both knowledge and power.  Both can corrupt you if you are irresponsible with it.

People have neither the right nor privilege of living corruptly at the expense of their children.