I was reading What Do Women Want? and this stuck out to me:
“women’s desire is not relational, it’s narcissistic” — it is dominated by the yearnings of “self-love,” by the wish to be the object of erotic admiration and sexual need.
I tend to agree but I’d consider it relational. The relation is between self and idealized self. If a woman’s arousal is due to being idealized as an object of desire by another person, then its relational in that level of arousal would be determined by how much the other person idealizes her.
Intimacy may take second seat but I think it’s still playing a pinnacle role. Without intimacy with a partner, then how could those idealisms be known or manifested in any meaningful way outside her mind? The sexologist goes on to say that many if not most women prefer to receive than give. This chick? Being the source of pleasure appeals to my Narcissistic tendencies that considering it a chore or not something I’m more than willing to do, is alien. I can see through the lens of cultural fetishes and the need to find answers to questions such as these but in seeking understanding it may just over complicate matters. I can’t tell you how annoying it is to be compared to another woman, sexually or otherwise. I’m not like other women and I can’t imagine other women are like me. I recognize that other women have issues with self-image, intimacy and sex and seek out the ‘experts’ to alleviate their distress but what about the rest of us? In an attempt to treat other women, those without such issues get caught up in nets to be untangled from.
Aren’t the cultural trappings enough to deal with? I see this Free the Nipple campaign in an attempt to gain more gender equality and it just seems foolish to me. All these Feminists are hell bent on removing the allure that is Woman that I wonder what kind of lives these women live.
If you ask your average American if breasts are innately sexual, you’ll most likely get a YES, which is why they should be covered. Women breast-feeding in public places have become somewhat normalized but you still see plenty of stories about women being asked to use a private area of a public place to do it. Carry-over from a more modest era, certainly, and the rebuttal is usually “But…Men go shirtless all the time!” How many men? All men? Then go on finger pointing to places like Africa where breasts aren’t fetishized in the same way as the U.S., well duh… Culture clash. In a modern era however, you can find plenty of breast fetishism all over the continent. I just chalk it up to confirmation bias. Why are women so hell bent on being treated like men anyway? Discomfort with the den of inequity? Any woman can tip the scales in her favor with a little know how and
passion cup-size driving the weight.