Share and share alike right? Until it’s your share. Pooling things together in a household never works, it always ends up with someone resenting the other for taking their stuff.
Everyone pitches in, or so it seems. If you have two working adults and a child, well hey… That kid is as the mercy of the adults in the household,right? Kids don’t think about food the way adults do. When they hunger, they eat. When they thirst, they drink. As far as I’m concerned, that’s how it should be. People who resent their kids because they eat with an average appetite are asshats. It’s the care-giver’s responsibility to ensure their kids are well fed.
I also don’t understand the people that over-burden their own children with worry and concern. Let your kids be kids for crying out loud, they have their whole lives ahead of them to have all the responsibilities of an adult. I’ve seen my fair share of adults that guilt their children into starving themselves, or lock them out of the cabinets and fridge out of fear of them eating them out of house and home. Get a grip people. 3 squares a day and snacks in between is the average eating habit of an active and healthy child. As they grow into teens, they eat less and less, though their helpings at meals may be larger.
Unless of course it’s not your kid. Then that kid owes you right? You spend your money and what you buy goes into the household, never-mind that its your agreed upon share. Fuck that, you are entitled to have more than anyone else in the house because you did the shopping! The food is for everyone to eat, unless you are the one that reached in your pocket and went to the store. Then, it becomes YOUR FOOD. If one particular item goes faster than the others, well it’s all “Hey, who drank the last of the….! That was mine!”
If that sounds familiar, I hate to break it to you…You’re living with an asshat.
And it’s because kids don’t think of food/drink in the same way as adults. When they bring something home and put it in the fridge, it belongs to THEM, whether they bought it with their own money (*cough your money*) or it was given to them makes no difference. It is their property. Don’t kids deserve the same courtesy as you asshats expect of them? So if you go snatching your due, shouldn’t you extend the same courtesy of asking them, much like you demand of them when you have a favorite item in the fridge?
When adults start to treat their kids like Roommates, this is where things usually swing Left. You would think a mature adult would understand the roles in the household, especially when they were already laid out pretty clear from the beginning. You would think. When the kids demonstrate more emotional and mental maturity than the grown-ups, what then? Does this mean they should be treated like your buddy at the bar?
Get a hold of yourselves people. In fact, check yourself or else get checked by a kid!
I went shopping last week. I didn’t think for a second that the food would be separated into equal shares. Food is Food. You are hungry, you eat. If you’re thirsty, you drink. I bought myself an Almond Joy, and threw it in a basket by the fridge. It stayed there for 2 days before it disappeared. Where’s my Almond Joy? Someone ate it! Was I bummed out? Sure, someone beat me to it. I left it out and it was for anyone to snatch and enjoy. Truth is, it was probably my kid. I didn’t go through the house demanding to know who had eaten it. I just chuckled to myself and thought…“Damn it, I should have hidden that in my purse!” and moved on.
I went to the change jars where I too had been throwing coin for months…Empty. Not a single Quarter in there, and I was looking for change to wash my car. Not only was my share gone, but all the shares were spent up without a single care or consideration. Somebody was owed his due. We reside in the Den of Inequity, always have and always will. Someone is keeping a tally, and they expect that forward paid in Full, even if they working in a deficit and their logic is fucked.
You just deal with it. You learn your lessons well, and hope to not repeat the offense in the future. It’s all on you, always has been. You can keep a mental note of all the little tid-bits you learn, but it doesn’t mean you act on it in the moment. All in good time. That’s the difference between the people that Act and the people that Re-Act.
I also throw change in a jar for my kid, he knows his own jar called the “Goodie Jar”. He pulls from it for a pit-stop on his way to school, or a snack while he’s there. Sometimes the jar runneth over, and sometimes it’s down to just pennies. He learns to manage what he’s working with.
Some parents work the ‘Allowance’ angle with their kids. They do chores they earn profit. The rate is up to the parent, and with the idea that it teaches their kids responsibility and builds character. I never have. I have my own ways of teaching my son responsibility and building character. He’s responsible and has strong qualities, but he will also build character traits for the rest of his life. I’ve done well.
When my son expresses gratitude towards me, I always make it a point to remind him he should be proud of himself FIRST. I guide him, but he’s not my little robot. I don’t just issue commands that he follows. He makes conscious choices. Sometimes he’ll make mistakes, but I allow him to make them. He learns from them and makes decisions for himself. He also learns what character traits he would like to hold, as well as those he admires in others. He has also learned those he detests.
He keeps his room clean, does his own laundry and doesn’t leave messes around. Is he perfect? Nope, perfection is a nullified notion. So, sure I get on him if he leaves crumbs behind after making a sandwich but I don’t need to be a Harpy to help him understand why its important that he maintain cleanliness and order. I don’t need my kid to do my housework either. I maintain the house just fine without paying for his child slave labor. If I need help with something, he’s more than happy to assist. In fact, he wishes I’d ask him more often. I remind him that I want him to enjoy his childhood for the short time that he has it. A year left, and he’ll be a bona fide Adult.
When he wants luxuries, his Father spoils him. We’re divorced and so it’s his little way of making up for the time lost not seeing him as if he lived in the same household. He gives him a little walking money, or buys him something he’s requested (within reason). It’s not abusive, so I don’t fret about it.
People tend to raise their own kids how they were raised, but some deviate from that path when they know something just doesn’t make sense. When there’s no logic or reason behind it accept to mimic your own parents, why would you do it? Some people are just mimics. Sad little creatures that they are. Most things usually begin with “Well, my parents did such and such, so I do it too…because I turned out alright.” You sure about that? I don’t want my kid to just turn out ‘Alright’, I want him to have his wits about him. I want to set good and healthy examples for him and not just parrot off some nonsensical reasoning because it makes me feel like some self-righteous twat.
When my son came home to find that Someone had drank several of his Gatorades he said “Hmmm (2) left? I had (8) but I only drank (2).” To which I replied, “I dunno, I’ve only been drinking water.” and just left it open-ended. He said “Ah well, I got it for free anyway, no big deal.”
I don’t have to ask where my Almond Joy went to, I already know.
What I should have known was better to stick it in my purse! There will always be more Almond Joy’s, you only get one shot at this child-rearing thing!