I stand alone

I stand alone

There are many poetic statements I could make about my solitude, but in my mind’s eye I know such notions would get twisted and lost in the minds of others.

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This society has become symbol-illiterate.  It has become tunneled with focus on the literal, material, and corporal suffering of other men.  I suppose it gives a person a sense that no matter how bad things get, they can always be worse.  Flip the coin, and each person suffers quietly in their own heads with all their wanting, they covet what other men have.

The philosophies of the East teach man not to attach to his wants, his feelings, his actions, and he will live a happier and ‘easier’ life.  His suffering can be alleviated by Esoteric methods.  In the literalisms of our human condition, the majority prefer Exoteric means.  In a sense, it’s Peter Pan syndrome.  People are still looking for the Geenie in the lamp to grant all their hopes and dreams true.  The imaginations of our childhood are useful to a degree but they can also be the very thing that destroys any real chance to exceed our humanity.

I am not looking for someone like me, because there are no birds in this world that are of my feather or flock. I stand alone.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I prefer my own company to any in this world.

In my youth, I was cynical and misanthropic towards my fellow man.  The rampant stupidity and lack of self-awareness gave me some understanding towards men that seek to completely exterminate those they find detestable like pesky insects.  Imagine a lovely picnic you prepare for your family, you lay out all the delicious food to be immediately overrun by ants.  One ant is a bother, but millions?  It can consume your picnic whole.  Genocide is never a real solution to our ‘human problem’, nor is finding superior genetic stock.  The problem has always been what we are, how we are, and the ways that we can BE.

How can a mother BE so abusive?

How can a man BE so heartless?

How can a group BE so persecuting?

How can we BE so stupid?

I could list a million ways to BE, and they change like the winds, our nature is fickle and flighty.  As children we are taught how we must BE but, this doesn’t really coincide with our nature.  It’s just conditioning that we often have to scrub later.  So how then should we BE?

I stand alone.  In introspect I am with my kind.  I can’t say I always understand why people are the way they are.  Why they do the things they do, but what I can say is that some people change with circumstance but most often people stay the same.  We are a midst people systems, and liberating ourselves from such cages is a dream at best.

The best we can do is be aware of the systems, and revel against the machine.  I’ll be the monkey-wrench, and it only takes one to jam the mechanism from operating without pause.

                           ”Boulevard Of Broken Dreams. Green Day”

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
When the city sleeps
And I’m the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a…

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone up there will find me
‘til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah

I’m walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What’s fucked up when everything’s alright
Check my vital signs
To know I’m still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a…

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone up there will find me
‘til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, aaah-ah
Ah-ah, ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a…

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
When the city sleeps
And I’m the only one and I walk a…

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone up there will find me
‘til then I walk alone…

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